Does context matter?

As a TLC book tour host, I’ve just been reading Situations Matter by Sam Sommers in an attempt to find out.  If you’d like to find out too, you can find out more and purchase the book here.

On the face of it, it quite common sense that things can change depending on the surrounding circumstances.  For example, I used to read 20 to 30 of these psychology books every year as I’m fascinated by how research and science can help us be better and more effective.

Since my situation changed and I had my son in November I’ve read approximately 5 pages of one book.  So situations do matter!

My acid test for this kind of book is

1) Is the book fun to read?

2) Does it offer a new angle on something obvious and common-place? (think Malcolm Gladwell or Freakonomics)

3) Will it help me with some practical advice to live a better (less ordinary) life?

Fun to read

Sommers is a psychology professor at Tufts.  He has created a witty and articulate read.  He covers a wide range of topics including love, gender differences, the power of crowds and the challenges of conformity.

This is no po-faced route march through the psychology of context and influence.  There are plenty of good personal examples to show how context can alter a situation for the better (for example getting a shirty airline clerk to give him a hotel room after a missed connection by revealing his wife was pregnant).

The book engages you throughout with things to try and learn from and it will put a smile on your face.  So far, so good.

Well researched

Situations Matters covers the idea of context from a wide range of innovative angles.  Each one is backed up by some scientific evidence as witnessed by the extensive notes at the end.  This feels more than simple conjecture.

The section on self-help and improvement provided some fresh insight for me.  Sommers notes that our self-perception can shift depending on the context – we have multiple, complex and shifting personalities (for example our corporate warrior work self, parent self and all alone self).

Remembering that we are a constantly evolving and changing entity helps a lot.  The book reminds us we have the power to develop, grow and change and that is a hopeful and worthwhile conclusion.

The section on finding love is particularly insightful.  A good reminder that love is much more complex than getting hit by cupid’s arrow and finding the one.

So, definitely some credible and useful new angles on context.  Strike two!

Will it make my life better?

At the end of each chapter is a summary of the key points and an attempt to look at the applications in real life.

The conclusions on the chapter on the power of crowds and conformity encourage the reader not to use the context of a crowd as a reason not to act.  Sommers uses the example of the Liverpool 38 who all saw Jamie Bulger with his killers before his murder and took no action.  Having the bravery to step out from cover could have saved his life.

He also notes that if you need help in a crowd or more generally you need to be very obvious about your need and make a clear request.  A lesson that most of use need to hear in one way or another.

There are plenty more gems throughout the book for you to enjoy.  Sommers has hit the mark on all three counts.

A Great Read

As I’ve learned, context is key with this summary.  This book is well worth a read If you enjoy popular psychology and want to use the power of context to be more influential and happier.  It may not be for you if you like your self-development to be a bit more hard edged and instructive.

If you’re interested in finding out more about the book, or purchasing it, follow this link.

I’ve written a book called “How to Find Work you Love”.  Read on to find out why and get a discounted copy…

Have you ever done something that makes everyone you know shake their heads in disbelief?

For me the first one that springs to mind was when I put the kettle on the stove and lit the gas.

I only remembered it was an electic kettle made of plastic when it set on fire.  Shake shake.

This is closely followed by my decision to quit my job as a senior manager at Deloitte to start my coaching business.

“What on earth are you thinking about, leaving behind all that security?”

“You’re mad, completely bonkers”

“I know you don’t like it, but really?”

One friend simply burst into tears.

If you’re thinking about leaving behind your safe job that makes you miserable you’ll be worried about the same reaction.

To join the waiting list for the How to Find Work You Love e-book (and get a discount) – please click here.

It’s a massive brave step to set off on a new path.

The team that wrote the How to Find Work You Love Guide all took this massive leap.

Why we did it…

We all had objectively successful jobs at Deloitte, E&Y, E&Y, Yahoo and the LSE.

Yet we all had something in common – we felt there was more to life than work that didn’t feel fulfilling.

In my case I was a forensic accountant, yet I don’t like numbers and really dislike details.  Conversely I love people and helping them to make the most of their potential.

I felt an urge to do work I felt passionate about, that I enjoyed and that served my drive to help others make the most of their lives.

Before I took the leap I spent a lot of time to figure out how to make that happen.  I did a lot of self-reflection, made a long term plan and figured out my first steps.

Having this in place helped me overcome my fear, the incredulity of the people around me and take my bold step with confidence.

I was lucky to have a coach to help me structure my thinking, without that guidance I’d probably still be stuck where I was.

Why we wrote How to Find Work You Love

From experience, everyone makes changes their own way.

If you’re contemplating a new career direction, starting your own business or a new direction, you’ll want to do it your way.

How to Find Work You Love is designed to put the power in your hands to make this change.  It provides you with the tools and structure to successfully make your change.

We’ve boiled down the important steps you might take into a series of powerful exercises and inspiring ideas.

The guide will:

• Support you in figuring out what work will make you tick
• Enable you to create a powerful vision of the life and work you want
• Embolden you to take your first steps (regardless of what anyone else thinks)
• Inspire you by sharing the wisdom of Escapees who have already trodden the path

We’ve all taken this journey and wish that this Guide had existed when we started out.  It might have saved us from a lot of head shaking.

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To join the waiting list for the How to Find Work You Love e-book (and get a discount) – please click here.

If you think that number is too low, this article is all about how to get stuff done without making life into a route march.

We all have things that we want to achieve – from making real our beautiful dreams of an ideal future through to changing the lightbulbs in the hall (why do they keep burning out?).

Last month saw me reach new peaks of personal productivity (starting from a low baseline).

Somehow I’ve managed to market and sell our flat, find a house to buy, get plans and a builder to renovate this house, find a place to rent, start moving our flat, prepare for our baby to arrive, write my first e-book and keep growing the coaching practice.

I’ve probably been somewhere between a 7 and 8 out of 10 for most of this time.  It’s felt like quite a trek and fun has gone a bit by the wayside.

Frankly I’m a bit knackered now, and this week, productivity is probably down closer to a 4.  More time has been spent sitting in the park in the sunshine, or looking at a blinking cursor (it took 28 minutes for this article to get started).

This period of frenetic productivity followed by a lull has taught me a couple of important things about getting things done:

1) Action leads to confidence (leads to action)

I’ve never felt very confident about picking up the phone, particularly to ask someone to do something they might not want to do.

Our house move couldn’t happen without calling virtually hundreds of estate agents, lawyers, surveyors and other people.  It forced me to take action.

Each call got a little less horrendous and by the fiftieth one, I was quite enjoying it.  My mobile phone bill testifies to the fact that I now love picking up the phone.  Taking action built my confidence and allowed me to do even more.

2) Self-discipline feels good

Self-discipline is a slippery creature to pin down.  It allows us to do the dirty work and tough challenges that can move us forward to our goals.

Yet it can disappear in the blink of an eye.  Suddenly the Come Dine with Me omnibus becomes the most important televisual event of all time, certainly more important than sending those vital documents to the lawyers.

I’ve found that self-discipline is like going to the gym.  You have to start where you are and you can’t suddenly lift three times your own body weight.  By building up slowly and getting a little more done each day and week (and forgiving yourself when you screw up), self-discipline can get stronger.

Like exercise, it also feels good.  When you make a commitment to yourself and keep it (despite the temptation to read the sport section of the newspaper again), your self-esteem takes a little boost.

3) All work and no play makes Phil a dull boy

Having spent a lot of my life doing just enough to get by, it was intriguing to be a super-achiever.

Frankly, it probably made me into quite a boring person.  When you are building gant charts for moving your stuff at 11pm, you know you have a problem.

I think I may have neglected some of the activities and people that bring fun into my life over the summer.

Finding this balance and time to recharge can actually make you more productive (and certainly keeps you sane).

If you want to get more stuff done, here are some suggestions for ways to build up your productivity:

1. Identify your number one time-wasting tactic.  Tomorrow morning when you wake up, make a commitment to yourself to reduce or eliminate it from your day (eg I won’t check Facebook today).  Keep this promise to yourself and you’re showing respect for yourself.
2. Set yourself three monthly goals for October that you’d really like to achieve (be discrete and tangible).  Identify your reward for doing them.  Ask someone you trust to hold you accountable.  Commit and make them happen.
3. Commit to something new and fun – a course, time with friends each week, just reading a book for 30 minutes each evening.  Keep that promise to yourself.
4. If you are being held back by an untidy office or house, put together a plan to clear it up.  Even 10 minutes a day can clear a problem quickly
5. Keep track of how much real work you do in the office this week.  Aim for a 10% improvement the week after.
6. Set and commit to some goals you’d like to achieve before Christmas and make a plan for making it happen.  Keep your goals somewhere prominent and tick them off as they get done.
7. If you’ve been overachieving for a long time and it’s starting to wear you out, think about what you can de-prioritze and replace with something more fun.

Go take and action and get stuff done!

Photo courtesy of orcmid (Flickr Creative Commons)

Traditional and Modern Job Hunting

The traditional model for job hunting is waiting for the right job to be created, finding the opening and then beating off the competition to land the role.  This involves using channels such as newspaper and online job postings, company job boards and recruitment consultants.

The modern model for job hunting is to proactively find or have the right position created for you in an organisation you’d like to work for.  This involves using a great deal of networking, targeted searches and informational interviews.  Here is a great example of a (post) modern job search

There are obvious pros and cons to each of these models.  The traditional model means you are going for jobs that actually exist, however you tend to have much more competition and it can be hard to land the role.  The modern model allows you to create your ideal role that might not exist yet, however it can take a lot of time, patience and hard work.

Most research on the topic suggests that around 50% of jobs are filled by each of these approaches.

Given all of this, I suggest that the ideal job search strategy is to make sure you are consistently using every appropriate tactic.

How to Structure your Search

It’s best to think of your job search as the most important work project you’ll ever undertake.  You should be as professional, organized and committed as you are with your day job.

You may have a favourite approach for structuring a project (I’m sure your inner Excel / Powerpoint geek will come out).  If not, I suggest you create a strategic overview of your job search.  This will outline each tactic you plan to use and then specifics of what you are committing to.

You can then keep a weekly to-do list which outlines specific, measurable commitments about what you will accomplish (for example: create a target list of 10 organizations I want to work for, check the job boards of those organizations for new roles, use MovemeOn to find the right recruitment consultant and set up a meeting etc.).  This makes it easy to tick these off as being successfully completed.

Use this summary of Job search tactics to create your strategic overview:

Traditional Model

Review newspaper advertisements for job postings that fit your criteria

Review online job boards for new jobs that fit your criteria

Review company job boards for new jobs that fit your criteria

Work with recruitment consultant(s) to identify roles that fit your criteria

Use Linked In postings and Groups to find advertised roles that fit your criteria

Approach HR and leave your CV for the type of job you want

Apply for posted jobs identified using CV, covering letter etc.

Modern Model

Immediate network – look for people in your immediate network who work for organisations you’d like to work for, or who do the type of work you want to do.  Ask for an informational interview.  Ask for further connections in the field.

Wider Networking – tell your network about what you are wanting to do and the organizations you want to do it at.  Ask for introductions and connections to people they may know at these organisations or in your chosen field.  Organize informational interviews.

Fresh network – attend events that relate to your chosen field / industry and make new connections.  Follow up and aim for informational interviews.

Targeted Search – create a hit list of organizations that you want to work for in the area(s) you want to work

Research target organisations and identify the personnel you’d like to contact

Use the following techniques to try and get a connection with these people or more broadly at the company; your existing network, your network’s network, alumni connections, Linked In Group connections, research and reading to find out more about the person (a bit of online stalking), trade associations, trade events they may be attending / speaking at

Cold calling – call and try to get in touch with the person (your research of the company and their work will help you here)

Walk Ins – consider showing up at the organisation you want to work for (again you should be well prepared)

Internships / Volunteer – try to find a way to work in the organisations on a volunteer or temporary basis to show your skills

Get creative – the only limit to making a connection or finding a job is your imagination

Go make it happen

As you can see, this can be a serious project and you’ll need to stay work hard to get optimal results. The key is to stay patient and remember that you have a great strategy which will get you results.

If you’re reading this blog, the chances are that you’re considering moving on with your career. The big question is, do you really know what you want to do next? Do you have the focus you need to find the right opportunity for you?

A job hunt without focus is a recipe for frustration for you, your prospective employer, your friends and family (they’ll get sick of hearing you vent).

As a career coach, I spend my life helping professionals to find work that brings challenge, enjoyment and fulfilment.

Work in the 21^st century provides a massive range of opportunity to use your talents, skills and experience.

Within business, there are more sectors, industries, niches and specialty companies than ever. Employers range from fast-growing start ups to corporate titans. You can work in an office or totally virtually.

On top of that, there are a huge range of opportunities in the government, education and social sectors. From social enterprises to think-tanks and universities to charities – the variety is endless.

The first step to your successful job hunt is to figure out what really gets you motivated and the type of organization you want to work for.

Once you have this focus you can:

1. Create a targeted and successful job hunt strategy (see my next post for more)
2. Create tight and focused collateral (your story, CV, cover letter)
3. Clearly communicate your intentions to recruitment consultants, the organisations you want to work for and your interviewers
4. Have confidence and clarity in yourself that you are making the right move

How to find your focus

The first step is to identify the criteria that you are looking to fulfil from your next opportunity. Take some time to think about:

Culture – what kind of environment do you like to work in? What size of team /organization? How much autonomy do you want (and how much support)? How much flexibility (location & time)? Entrepreneurial environment or established culture?

Challenge – what do you want to learn? What experiences are you looking for? Are you looking for stability or variety? What are the opportunities for advancement?  What kinds of problems do you want to solve? How much risk do you want to take?  How open to failure are you?

Pleasure – what kind of work do you enjoy most? What sectors / industries are most interesting? What will get you out of bed with a smile on your face? What are you fascinated by? What type of work will play to your strengths?

Purpose – where does the next role take you in the long run? What kind of life do you want to live and how does it fit with that? How does the job meet some of your values / deeper needs (e.g., making a difference to people, creating opportunity for others, providing validation)? What makes work feel worthwhile?

In answering these questions, you can build up a clear set of criteria for your next role to fulfil.

How to come up with a long list of options

The next step is to look at your options. The best starting point is to create the longest list of options you can based on:

1. Your thinking and research to date
2. Existing or potential opportunities
3. Looking at people in your network and beyond and seeing which roles seem interesting
4. Undertaking broader research (informal interviews, networking, internet searches, brainstorming, asking recruitment consultants) to generate new options

How to narrow down your long list

Once you come up with your long list, review each serious option against the criteria. You may find that along with this analytical approach, your intuition may tell you strongly what feels best.

Remember you ultimately need to come up with a next step that feels motivating, exciting and fits with your long term career plan. Once you’ve convinced yourself, you have the focus you need to move forward.

I’d suggest you write a clear description of what you are planning to do and why, in as much detail as possible to make the case.

A great way to consolidate this is to prepare a one or two paragraph summary of the job you are looking for. Be as specific about the type of company, industry, and role you would like.

This crystal clear statement will help you to focus on finding the right role for you.  It is something you can share with your network, recruitment consultants and potential employers.

Now that you are focused, next time we’ll talk about how to create a job hunting strategy that really works.

Image Courtesy of JLC Walker (Flickr Creative Commons)

Is it possible for an entire nation to slow down all at once?

Here in London, it feels like we’ve been taking it easy since April.

Between Easter, the Royal Wedding and our May Bank Holidays, we’ve had an endless stream of days off work.  Couple that with the warmest spring on record, with lots of sunshine and a vacation mood has prevailed.

I think people here have twigged that not working can be quite the enjoyable experience.  Rush hour has been a bit less rushed, people are ambling rather than striding, eating has moved a bit more al fresco.

Personally, I’m loving it – it’s quite different from the usual endless rush to get things done.  It feels like an ebb in the endless flow tide of life here.

It’s natural

Of course, this contrast is quite natural.  Nature provides a clue of the importance of ebb and flow in life.  The different seasons provide a cycle for the natural world – different times for growth, seeding, mating and resting.

Each aspect provides a vital link in the chain of continued life – if you’re a squirrel the hibernation is just as important as the times of frantic foraging for food.

It’s easy in this 24-7-365 world to assume that the pedal needs to be constantly on the metal.  There’s a fear that if we’re not at full steam ahead we might fall behind and never catch up.

Yet we are far more multidimensional.  We have complex bio-chemical systems that need care and maintenance to keep us physically and mentally healthy.  Our bodies naturally go through cycles of fitness, and illness which impact our lives.

We also have a wide range of needs, desires and motivations for acting.  We need the basics to survive physically, a range of mental stimulation to survive mentally and then have more complex drivers that bring happiness and fulfilment.

Life is not a simple game of do as much as you can – it requires ebbs and flows to run smoothly.

A little respect

Respecting our ebbs and flows means not trying to boil the ocean and do everything at once.

There are times of peak activity when we can focus on particular aspects of life that rise to the top.  In these times we really do feel a flow – taking on big challenges seems natural and rewarding.

At other times, there’ll be ebbs – moments when it is important to recognize the need to slow down or de-prioritise a certain area.  Like a farmer with a fallow field, sometimes we’ll need to leave an area of life to recover for a while before we can return to it.

For me, this less busy time has provided a great lesson in ebbs and flows.  At first I tried to push hard with work to keep growing the business, but it just felt sticky and difficult.

Rather than continuing to bash my head against the wall, I’ve focused on other aspects – finding a new associate to prepare for the next spike, and starting to write my first book.

Slowing down a little has let me re-prioritise other aspects of life.  I’ve been able to spend more time with family than ever and am loving that so much.  I’ve focused on exercise and meditation and feeling more centred and focused.

It’s been easier respecting the natural flow rather than struggling against it.  By tuning in to what I’m feeling a bit more, I start to get better feedback on what is working and what is a no-no.

Similarly watching the way the world is responding to my actions, there are clear signals as to when to twist and when to stick.

Taking cues internally and externally has helped to find a better balance and avoid frustration.

Take a moment to think over the ebbs and flows you’ve experienced in 2011.

What are they telling you?

Are you ebbing of flowing right now?

Which areas of your life are coming easily?

Where are you stuck?

What is most important at the moment?

Enjoy your flows, and ride those ebbs – they are guaranteed to be less ordinary.

It’s my pleasure to introduce the new addition to our team, Hedeel Mahdi-King.  Hedeel has a range of experience from years in the city to running her own business.  She’ll bring her talent and knowledge to the team.

Here she is in her own words…

I’m absolutely delighted to join Less Ordinary Living.

I guess it’s no surprise I’m taking this step; I grew up in a very entrepreneurial family and was always up to my elbows in every aspect of running a business, right from the research and development stage through to the ‘what to do when things go a little off-plan’ stage.

I’ve paid my dues and spent six years working in they City as a corporate lawyer.

I’ve also spent some time running my own business, and seen first hand the challenge and excitement this can bring.

Over the last few years I’ve worked with a variety of people to help them turn their ideas into living, breathing businesses.  I’ve also helped established businesses grow and/or diversify.

Recently I’ve worked with people from professions such as law, banking, architecture, catering and e-commerce move into completely different careers such as agriculture, design and build, personal styling and event organisation.

My passion lies in helping others achieve a life they want, and most importantly, a life that they love to wake up to each morning – challenges, stretches and all!

I specialise in:

-    working with individuals who feel trapped take stock of their lives and create a more fulfilling reality (from small tweaks to complete revamp!).

-    helping people who want to be self-employed make the transition.

-    working with people to turn their ideas into living, breathing start-ups.

-    helping independently owned companies grow, diversify or consolidate their offering.

The buzz for me is in helping clients become more aware of their choices and helping them to make more positive, exciting, and yet still entirely pragmatic decisions.

All that’s left to say is that I look forward to working with some of you soon.

Hedeel

Don’t believe the hype.

This is the type of headline that bombards us every day.  Frankly they really get on my wick.

The world is full of miracle cures for happiness, crash diets and flashy new products that instantly boost your sex appeal.

Making lasting changes takes more than changing your brand of deodorant.  It takes planning, motivation and commitment.

Spring into Action

Spring is in the air, bringing a sense of renewal and opportunity. It’s  time to dust off the cob-webs and re-boot a few life programmes that are not working.

If you know it’s time to change, here are five ways to get things moving in different areas of your life (commitment definitely required!):

1)   De-clutter your life – if your house is turning into a landfill site and your paperwork has taken over the table.  Set an objective (for example to clear out the spare room by the end of March) and commit 10 minutes a day to making it happen.

2)   Introduce a new virtuous habit – whether it’s a morning walk, 30 minutes exercise 3 times a week or taking 10 minutes quiet time to breathe every day, start something that can make your life better.  Here are some more ideas on how to do this.

3)   Audit your career – set aside an hour to honestly assess how you are making a living.  Think about what you enjoy, what gives you meaning and purpose, how your work fits with your life goals and what you’d like to be doing in 5 years time.  For a helpful test to see if work is working click here.  Here are some ideas on how to start changing things.

4)   Learn something new – what have you been fascinated by for years and done nothing about?  What skill would you love to learn (yes, origami does count).  Find a course and go learn!

5)   Get out there and meet people – if you’ve been hibernating, it’s time to shake off the sleepy dust.  Join a group, find an event, sign up for on-line dating (if you’re single!), call up your friends and re-activate your social life.  It’s ok to get out there. More on friendship here.

The advertisers would have you believe that the key to your happiness is a shiny new product.

The reality is that the power lies in your hands.

If you want something, get out there and make it happen.

Photo credit: Robert S Donovan (Flickr Creative Commons)

Are you ready to start something new and exciting?

This post is inspired by my friends at Escape the City who have declared 2011 the year to start something you love.

Ten years ago this month, I took my first tentative run.  A trek from my front door to the bandstand in my local park.

God knows where the idea came from.  I nearly threw up after those epic 1,473 yards.  Yet I’d made it.

I didn’t realize it, but I was starting something I have come to love.

Over the last decade I’ve run over 6,000 miles and spent more than forty days in the act.  I’ve run on four continents in sun, rain, snow, ice, hail, fog, mist and darkness.

I’ve worn out 13 pairs of running shoes and made holes in over 30 pairs of socks.  I’ve even worn lycra tights – a lot.

I’ve had great ideas, cleared my mind, pulled muscles, stood in poo, fallen over five times.

I’ve made new friends and strengthened old friendships on long training runs.

I’ve finished 3 marathons, 6 half marathons – things I never thought possible

Running is now a central part of my life.

In short I took a risk and started something I loved.

From this experience, I’ve realized there are two things that are necessary to starting something you love:

1. Taking a risk

It’s easy to stick with old patterns, stay with the safe, the known.  There is no risk in the old routine.

It’s a lot riskier to do something different: to find that course, group or  idea and actually make the effort to get started.

Yet, a lot of these risks have been the best I’ve ever taken.

When I signed up and paid the money for a year-long coaching course, it was a risk.  I had no idea it would become my way of making a living.

2. Time and effort

It definitely took a few weeks of running and starting to see some improvement and really know it was for me.

It would have been easy to write it off after the first run and slink back to my couch.

By persevering, I started to go further and faster.  Eventually, I even started to enjoy myself.

Sticking power allowed me to explore running properly and realize it was something I loved.

Starting something you love

This year I’m taking a course in mindfulness and have signed up for a photography class.

What will you do to start something you love?  Whether it’s origami, going to Africa, volunteering, finding a new job or bird watching – take a risk and get started today.