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By Phil, February 9, 2010 4:14 pm

Reading Time: 2 minutes 12 seconds

Life's Too Short

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“Every morning, we are born again”  Buddhist Maxim

How do you get through the day?  A simple question.  What keeps you going when the going gets tough?  One common way is to put our heads down and soldier on.  Humans have a remarkable ability to put on a suit of armour that protects them from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.  Another way is to ride the emotional roller-coaster.  Like all roller-coasters we tend to feel sick with fear and anticipation on the way up and scream on the way down.  These approaches both get us through the day, but it feels like a struggle to survive.

Life shouldn’t be ordinary and it shouldn’t just be keeping our head above water.  It’s too easy to forget that our days are limited and precious.  I’ve found that creating some daily principles for living help me to be more intentional every day.  It gives me a foundation for how to approach life.  These rules help me to live life to the full.

What do daily principles look like?  Well here are mine:

1. Life is a Precious Gift – Make the most of it
2. Treat others as you’d like to be treated
3. Be authentic and true to your values
4. Find joy in everything you do
5. Inspire others to make the most of life
6. Work is love made life – put your heart into everything that you do

I created this list a few weeks ago.  I took myself out on an hour long run with the plan to capture the essence of how I’d like to live my life.  Running is my most creative place and the ideas just started to flow.  At the end (after mopping my sweaty brow), I wrote down my first draft.  I stewed on these for a day or two, made some changes and suddenly I had this powerful list.  Now I have this list up in my office, on my fridge door, and carry it around on a card in my wallet.

We are born again each morning .  I love to review these ideas every morning to get my head in the game.  I’m able to set my intention for how I’d like to be that day.  Just to be reminded that life is precious every morning is crucial.  When I wake up feeling sad, stressed or unexcited I’m reminded to find joy in life. Most importantly the principles take away the temptation to simply survive – I remember that life is too short to be ordinary.

What are your principles?  How do you remember to live life, rather than just surviving it?  Please leave a comment and share your thoughts.

Picture credit – Moustaque

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By Phil, January 6, 2010 11:36 am

Reading time: Under 2 minutes

2010 is here, the first year of a new decade.  This decade is so new that it doesn’t even have a nickname yet.  For me, this symbolic change brings with it a combination of emotions – excitement at the possibilities ahead, trepidation at some of the complex challenges out there, but most of all hope for the amazing possibilities in the future.

At Less Ordinary Living, the vision is to help you live your life to the full.  I believe that everyone has vast potential to make a difference.  This year my goal is to be a catalyst to help you make the most of your potential and fulfil your ambitions.  With dedication and support, everything is possible and it would be an honour to be part of your support system this year.

The plan this year is to cover key topics to help you grow and develop each month.  The theme for January is Finding Focus in 2010.  Our worlds are becoming so complex and full of distraction that it can be a real challenge simply to stay focused on what is really important.  Over the next month, I’ll cover some key techniques and ideas for developing an inner sense of calm, taking control of your time and increasing your personal effectiveness.

If you think that this would be helpful for you, please do subscribe by clicking here to make sure you don’t miss any of the series.

Beyond January, we’d like your help to shape the future direction of Less Ordinary Living.  Please leave a comment or email me at phil@lessordinaryliving.com to share:

What are your goals and plans for this year?

What are the biggest challenges you face?

What are you excited about?

What are you afraid of?

How can we best support you in fulfilling your potential in 2010?

I look forward to hearing from you and sincerely wish you a very Happy New Year.

Phil

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By Phil, December 16, 2009 6:02 pm

Reading time: 1 minute 34 seconds

We’re aiming to get to 100 subscribers by Christmas (currently 92), so please click here to subscribe and never miss another Less Ordinary Living post.

2009 is getting its coat, heading for the door and bidding us a fond farewell.  It’s been an interesting year for the world, seeing some challenging economic times and big questions about the future of our planet.   For me, the end of the year is a time to reflect on what has been, and to think about what could be in the future.

For me, this has been a year of change.  I’ve moved back to the UK from the US, gone from steady employment to setting up a new business, got used to working at home rather than in an office.  There have been challenges – being terrified of having no clients and no income at the start of the year, adjusting to a different lifestyle in a different country, learning to set boundaries and look after myself better.

Yet on reflection it’s been a wonderful journey and there is a lot I’m grateful for.  I’ve worked with some amazing clients who have made major changes in their life.  I’ve managed to volunteer my time advising some inspiring social entrepreneurs.  I’ve set up a blog read by over 7,000 people (so far – thank you!).  I’ve developed some new skills, particularly around managing my emotions and thoughts more effectively.  Most importantly, overcoming some of the challenges has strengthened my bonds with the most important people in my life.  For all this I’m profoundly grateful for the last year.

So before 2009 gets into a cab and waves goodbye, take a minute or two to reflect on your year:

• What did you achieve this year?
• What challenges did you face and how did you overcome them?
• What did you learn this year?
• Most importantly, what are you grateful for (things, people, events) from 2009?

I’d love to hear what you are grateful for from 2009, so please do share a comment.  The next post will focus on making 2010 your Best Year Yet.

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By Phil, December 8, 2009 9:15 am

Reading time: 2 minutes 3 seconds – Enjoying Christmas – Priceless

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but it’s two weeks until Christmas (gulp). The season of joy, happiness, family and celebration is well and truly upon us.  However the nonstop whirl of eating, drinking and being merry, combined with the organisation needed means that this can be a very stressful time of year.   To avoid weeping over the turkey or chasing granny with the carving knife, I’ve compiled four ideas to make this a Less Ordinary season.

1. Pay Yourself First – at this time of year we can be constantly on the run.  Often we don’t stop until early January.  This year, make the resolution to look after yourself a little better.  Try setting aside 10 minutes each day for some “me time” – it’s not really a lot to ask for.  Look for a way to get a little exercise, even if it is walking to the shops to keep mind and body together.  In short, do a little of what you like every day.  We can lose ourselves at this time of year – Pay yourself first and you can give more to others.

2. Be Generous – the Holiday spirit is about the fellowship of all humanity.  Be thoughtful and generous in giving your time and treasure.  A great way to really appreciate Christmas is to volunteer some time to a charity, and even get your family or loved ones involved.  Giving with no expectation of return brings joy to the world and a great sense of peace and satisfaction.

3. Count your Blessings – chances are you’ll be enjoying the Holidays with a roof over your head, heating, a good meal and the company of others.  Being grateful for what we have at this time of year puts our life in perspective.  Try to spend a minute every day (it could be whilst you’re commuting, on the escalator, even waiting in a queue at the supermarket) to reflect on how blessed your life is and to offer gratitude for this.

4. Slow Down – this time of year is typically lived at 100 miles per hour.  We run from pillar to post with no time to stop.  When life is lived at this speed it is all too easy to lose track of the bigger picture and get bound up in the hysteria.  To stay in control, try slowing everything down by half a beat.  Walk a little slower, take an extra half a second to think before you speak, stop and take a deep breath and appreciate the world around you.  By setting an intention to slow down, you’ll live in the moment more of the time, rather than having your mind wrapped up in the next event.  Slow down and really enjoy the Holidays.

What are your secrets to making the most of this wonderful time of year? – please do leave a comment or your thoughts on this article.  And if you enjoyed the article, please subscribe to make our dream of having 100 subscribers for Christmas come true by clicking here.

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By Phil, December 1, 2009 7:24 pm

Reading Time: 3 minutes and 49 seconds

We’re hoping to get 100 new subscribers as our Christmas present, so if you enjoy this, please click here to subscribe.  Thank you.

Are you still keeping your New Year’s Resolutions for 2009?  A quick show of hands please.  To the valiant few with hands aloft, congratulations.  For the rest of us mere mortals, don’t despair.  A study by clinical psychologists at the University of Scranton showed that of people making a resolution, only 75% made it past the first week and less than 50% were maintaining their resolution after 6 months.  New Year’s Resolutions are one way that we try to make our lives happier, so how can we improve our chances of keeping them?

Making a resolution is usually a commitment to a lasting behavioural change – whether it be exercising more, eating healthily or changing the balance of how we spend our time.  Changing ingrained habits and behaviour can be extremely difficult.

New Year’s Resolutions are typically an all or nothing immediate leap into the deep end of change.  They are the equivalent of putting all your chips on number 23 at the roulette wheel of life.  Psyhcologists who have studied successful change have found that taking a longer-term approach which has a clear strategy can dramatically improve our odds of successfully changing.

The powerful “States of Change” model created by James Prochaka and Carlo diClemente in the 1970s outlines a robust six step approach to making lasting personal change.  Following these steps with due care and effort has been proven to increase the chances of making a successful change:

Step 1: Precontemplation. Prior to making a change we need to admit we have something to change. In this stage we have yet to admit that something is worth changing, although the issue may be buzzing around in the back of our mind.  This stage is sometimes thought of as being “in denial” due to our claims that a pattern or behaviour is not a problem.

Step 2: Contemplation. During this stage, we start to consider the benefits of making a change, however we often focus on the downsides.  This creates fear of change and can lead to extended procrastination and delay before moving forward.  The contemplation stage is about admitting that we want to change and seeing the positives of the change (for example, if I were to lose weight I would feel healthier, happier and fit into my old clothes in the wardrobe).

Some of the key questions to answer at this stage are:

What is your motivation for wanting to change?

What are some of the benefits of changing?

What may be holding you back from changing?

What are some factors that could assist you in making a change?

Step 3: Preparation. During this phase, we start lay the groundwork for the wider change ahead.  We may start to introduce smaller changes into our life.  For example, if you are planning to get fitter, you might start walking to the next bus stop each day on the way to work.  This stage requires creating our plans for a successful change.  Good preparation is vital to success and some of the key things to do include:

• Find people with a similar goal that might support you, or find others to hold you accountable.
• Research as much as you can about the area you want to make a change in – find out about others who have been successful in making the same change and how they did it.
• Identify and write down your motivation and inspiration for making the change.
• Create a clear plan for change and design a process for monitoring and rewarding progress.
• Design contingency plans for “falling off the wagon” and prepare yourself for this happening.

Step 4: Taking action. This is where the rubber hits the road.  If your preparation has been thorough, you’ll start executing on your plan and using your support systems.  Its important to take action in the knowledge that changing personal habits takes dedication and time to achieve.  Ingraining a new habit can take months or even years to achieve and will almost inevitably involve ups and downs along the path.  This step will need you to reward success and forgive yourself for slip-ups.

Step 5: Maintenance. Once you’ve taken action successfully, you’ll start to see the fruits of your labours.  If you’re objective was to stop smoking, you may last a day, or a week without a cigarette.  The key to maintenance is to find ways to avoid being tempted to relapse (for example, avoiding a trip to the pub with your old smoking buddies) and rewarding yourself for success (for example, treat yourself to a massage to relieve the stress of nicotine withdrawal).

Step 6: Relapse. Relapse is a normal and inevitable part of making a life change.  If not managed correctly, relapse can undermine all the good work that you have put in, and take away the self-confidence you’ve built up.  The key to moving through a relapse is to understand the reason for falling down, and to work out the best way to avoid a repeat.  Remembering that everyone who has successfully made a change has been through this process can be helpful in forgiving yourself.  Once you’ve understood the relapse, it is best to go back to the preparation phase and “get back on the horse”.

Finally, the best chance of keeping your resolution in 2010, is to start at Step 1 today.  Following the six-step change model above, and particularly focusing on the preparation phase prior to jumping in, is proven to increase your chance of making a lasting change in your life.  So get started on making 2010 your best year yet!

If you missed our three step guide to Thinking Big for the next decade, click here to get started….