Comments (4)

By Phil, July 27, 2010 5:22 pm

What’s the difference between being THE best and being YOUR best?

Be your best

Read on to find out the  answer – it could make a huge difference to your quality of life and happiness.

Being the Best

Being the best is about beating everyone in sight, reigning supreme, consistently held out as the champion, number one, numero uno.

It’s about winning and losing.  It’s about coming out on top every time.  Taking the gong, the award, the plaudits.  Making the teary thank-you speech (don’t forget your mum and your agent).

It is a noble aspiration to aim for being the best in your field.  It provides motivation, others to compare against, ways to measure how you are doing.

We can revieve acclaim for our endeavours and feed our need to be recognized along the way.  With dedication, hard work, a clear plan and a little luck we might even make it to the pinnacle.

Yet if this is the sole focus of everything we do, it can be destructive and exhausting too.  Time passes, things change, life moves on.

Great champions lose their magic touch and fall from the top.  In sport, think of Tiger Woods’ travails, Lance Armstrong cycling Le Tour with no chance of winning, Roger Federer the world number 3.

In cinema, do you remember F. Murray Abraham, Geralidine Page or Lousie Fletcher? They are all Oscar winners, the best in their field.  They couldn’t stay at the top forever.

Being the best is a temporary status.  It can take a lifetime to achieve and can be snatched away in seconds.

Being the best also requires you to play by someone else’s rules.  Who really defines the best accountant, entrepreneur, geologist, academic, dancer, painter or lawyer.  The best is chosen by popular acclaim, by an arbirary set of rules, some awards, a poll of polls, the whim of a boss or manager.

Striving to be the best is exhausting, disempowering and worst of all the rules can change at any time!

Be your Best

What happens when you try to be your best?

This subtle switch in thinking can untold happiness, peace and achievement.

When you strive to be your best, you set your own rules.  The pressure of constant comparison and striving for success goes away.

You’re in a one horse race and you decide what determines the winner.   Only you can be your best you.

Being your best means being able to look yourself in the mirror every day and say that you’re doing the best you can.  That is all we can ask from ourself after all.  It means learning to enjoy the successes and the failures and to learn from both.  To be better next time.

It means that you can have an off day, give yourself a break and push on.

It also means that you can be flexible in how you approach life.  The end game is all about being happy, living with yourself and finding peace.

You can still set big, hairy audacious goals for your life and career.  However as long as you do your best and can look yourself in the eye, these are open to change at any time.

Learning how to be your best can transform life from an endless struggle to please others and get to the top into a self-directed journey lived without regret.

How to be your best every day

At the beginning of the day, look yourself in the mirror and say your daily intention out loud- “I will be the best that I can be today”.

Each morning, select the most important thing you’d like to get done today and write down that intention in a journal – “I will write an outstanding blog post today”

If you find yourself drifting and procrastinating during the day, close your eyes and repeat 10 times “I am the best that I can be”. Now refocus and put 100% into doing whatever feels most important (that could be work, taking a proper break or whatever feels right)

At the end of each day, look yourself in the mirror and be honest about your day.  If you did your best, congratualte yourself and rebouble your efforts.  If you faced challenges, forgive yourself and work out how to be even better tomorrow.

Over to you

If you’d like a little inspiration to be your best, get free updates from Less Ordinary Living by clicking here.

Please leave a comment and share with others:

• Do you strive to do your best or be your best?
• What techniques do you use to make the most of each day?
• Have you ever been the best and how did it feel?

Photo Credit: Kevin Dooley (Flickr Creative Commons) – one of the best out there

Comments (18)

By Phil, July 21, 2010 5:00 pm

“The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” – Albert Einstein

Think.. positive!

How does the way you think about the world affect your happiness and success?

When I first read about the following experiment (from Feel the Fear and do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers) to explore the power of the mind, I thought it sounded like a joke, so I tried it with a friend.

Please feel free to try it yourself:

• Find a friend to work with
• Ask your friend to hold out their right arm horizontally to the ground and keep it as rigid as possible
• Now try to pull down their arm to their side
• Now reset the arm and ask your friend to repeat out loud 20 times “I am weak”
• Now try to pull down their arm again

I was amazed at how much easier it was to pull down the arm the second time.  To test this, we did experiments where I’d leave the room and my friend would choose to say “I am weak” or “I am strong”.

Sure enough, the effect on the arm was obvious each time.

This experiment shows that our thoughts certainly influence our outlook on the world and our ability to perform successfully.

In this case, it shows that our unconscious is pretty gullible.  It will believe anything it is told, regardless of how logical or truthful the statement.

Clearly we don’t get stronger or weaker in the 10 seconds it takes to repeat a phrase, however our mind and body act that way.

Knowing this made me realize that being aware of what is going on in our minds so important – it has so much influence over how we feel about life and how we approach things.

What is going on in your head?

I’ve written before about the voices we get in our head that tell us we can’t do something, that we’re not good enough, that we shouldn’t even bother trying.

Given the experiment, our unconscious mind seems to listen to and believe these messages.

I know that in the past for me, each time I let these gremlins go unchecked, my confidence, self-esteem and ability to successfully achieve goals seems to be diminished a little more.

Many proponents of positive thinking also claim that the opposite is true.  When we repeat positive messages and visualize our goals, our world is more likely to be filled with happiness and success.  Certainly I know that many top athletes and performers often use visualization and positive thinking to enhance their performance.

Change your thoughts – Change your world

“We have control over one thing in our lives – our thoughts” – Napoleon Hill

Being a sceptic, over the last two weeks I decided to put positive thinking to the test.  I was fascinated to see what impact if any it would have on the world between my ears and how I felt about life.

What did I do?

• I developed some positive affirmations (these are usually in the present tense) – “I am powerful”, “I am successful”, “I am focused and productive”, “I am physically strong” and the really important “Whatever happens, I can handle it”.
• Every morning for a few minutes before getting out of bed, I repeated these sayings
• Every day when walking or going for a run, I repeated the affirmations over and over again
• Every time I heard a negative thought or gremlin, I repeated the opposite mantra 20 times

I have to say I’ve been won over.  I’ve felt happier, more confident and seen life as an exciting experience.

Amazingly, I’ve felt more productive, energetic and seem to get more done.  I’ve rapidly advanced my new website project and even seen an uptick in new coaching clients.

It feels like I’m more in control of life and my gremlins don’t come up so much any more.

Sometimes I feel like a Pollyanna for repeating these mantras, but frankly as long as I feel the benefits I’m going to keep thinking positively.

Over to You

If you’re in a positive frame of mind, why not sign up for regular updates from Less Ordinary Living- the guide to an outstanding career and remarkable life.

• If you’re interested, try following the same positive thinking regime for a week and see how it works for you.
• What are your thoughts on positive thinking and affirmations?
• What techniques do you use to control your thoughts and emotions?

Photo credit: Jessica.Tam (Flickr Creative Commons)

Comments (14)

By Phil, June 30, 2010 12:19 pm

Make work more fun

Whether you want be more successful, more productive or just happier at work, these 25 powerful suggestions will help put some sparkle into your day.  Click here to get regular ideas on career success from Less Ordinary Living.

1. Start something new – variety is the spice of life.  Start a new project and bring one of your ideas to life
2. Really listen to everyone you meet – it’s easy to get wrapped up in your own world at work.  Concentrate on listening properly to everyone you meet today.
3. Take someone for coffee – build a relationship at work by taking someone out for coffee (your boss, your peer, your team member, your client, your customer).  You might even make a new friend.
4. Take a real lunchbreak – get out of the office, take a walk, get some fresh air and re-energize yourself.   It’s called a lunch break for a reason.
5. Delegate something – learning to delegate will make you more effective and help others to develop.  Take something off your plate and give someone else a chance.
6. Read Dilbert – Scott Adam’s cartoon dog puts work into perspective.  Learn to beat the pointy-haired boss.
7. Re-evaluate your to-do list – take 15 minutes to prioritize.  Focus on what is most important rather than urgent and to those things first.
8. Do something that will make your workplace better– think ahead about what can make your job better and more enjoyable in the longer term.  Start making that happen today.
9. Say no – learning to say no to things that don’t fit with your goals and values can be tough – but it is invaluable.  Say no to something today.
10. Thank an unsung hero – every workplace has it’s share of silent champions who keep everything going.  Take a minute to say thank you and recognize their contribution.
11. Be brave – if something is not working well in your team, have the courage to raise the issue.  It will never get resolved unless someone takes the initiative.
12. Offer to help – is someone looking out of their depth.? Get involved and help them learn to be great.  One day you might be the one needing help.
13. Leave on time – set yourself some clear targets and if you hit them, give yourself permission to leave on time (or even early if you can) and go enjoy the rest of the day.  Because you’re worth it.
14. Create a power hour – a great way to be super productive – click here to find out how.
15. Cancel a pointless meeting – sometimes work cultures create an endless stream of pointless meetings that suck up time.  If you have one today, cancel it or excuse yourself.   Use the time for something constructive.
16. Change your attitude – how are you approaching work?  If you’re seeing it as a negative, feeling disengaged and not enjoying it, you’ve lost before you even begin.  Try changing your attitude for one day and see what happens.
17. Apologize – if you have a feud or some simmering resentment with a colleague, isn’t it time to bury the hatchet (not in their head).  Be the bigger person and find a way to apologize sincerely.
18. Learn a new skill – what skill would you love to develop?  Put together an action plan for how to do that.  Here’s a guide for how to ask your boss for training.
19. Start a tradition – what new ritual can you start to make your workplace better?  A tea-round?  Birthday cakes?  Happy hour on Friday?
20. Set your vision – purpose is so important to satisfaction at work.  Take 15 minutes to think about why you are work and what you’d like to get from your career.
21. Drink more water – most offices and workplaces are drier than the Sahara, so stay hydrated to keep sharp.
22. Listen to your biorhythms – plan your day to take advantage of your natural daily energy cycles – click here to find out more.
23. Give something back – find out if your company has a community involvement or volunteer program.  Get involved or if it doesn’t exist, start one.
24. Play to your strengths – we are at our best at work when we use our natural attributes.  Take the VIA strengths test here to find yours.
25. Write your CV – a great way to feel in control of your career and not feel stuck in a rut.  Dig out that dusty relic and give it a polish.  Writing your CV helps you to feel more confident about your experience and skills.

Over to you

• What things do you do to enjoy work more?
• How do you make the most of your working life?
• Which of these ideas did you try, and what happened?

Photo credit: RubensLP (From Flickr Creative Commons)

Comments (4)

By Phil, June 24, 2010 11:40 am

VuVuZela!!!

Disclaimer: I personally guarantee that this article will not waffle on about football (too much).  To get regular updates from Less Ordinary Living, click here to sing up.

Love it or loathe it, everyone has been talking about the World Cup.

The adventure of football on a new continent, the impact on South Africa and its people, the endless drone of the Vuvuzela, the excitement (if you’re that way inclined) of the games.

For me, I’ve been fascinated by the implications of this global melting pot for how to live life in the 21st Century, so here goes:

1) Teamwork trumps talent

The French national team imploded under the African sun. We had sulks, feuds, players going on strike, and even a player getting sent home for insurrection (top tip: don’t call your boss something unrepeatable in front of all your colleagues).

On paper, the French team is littered with some of the most skilled individuals around.  They should have easily qualified for the knock-out stages, yet they flopped in all their games.  Now they are on their way home to Paris – flying cattle class.

This group of 23 individuals ended up in rival factions, fighting each other and their manager.  On the pitch, they wouldn’t even pass the ball to each other.  The substitutes refused to sit on the bench and sulked off to stand behind the goal.  In short, zero teamwork, or desire to sacrifice for the greater good.

Le Flop Francais shows the importance of teamwork, being interdependent with others, collaborating and caring about those around you.  These elements combine to create something much greater than the sum of individual parts.

2. It’s not how old you are – It’s how good you are

Viva Blanco!

Cuauhtémoc Blanco – Mexican legend – 37 years old.  By football standards he should be in the great retirement home in the sky dribbling on about his glory days to anyone unlucky enough to get stuck with him.

This guy couldn’t beat any of Less Ordinary Living’s readers in a race to the post box and has a pretty ample beer belly.

Yet, Blanco has inspired the Mexicans to qualification with a series of cameo substitute appearances and even knocked in a vital penalty goal along the  way.

In a game obsessed with fitness and strength, Blanco uses his brain and acute positional sense to do his talking.  He refuses to believe that his time is up and is confounding his critics with his great performances.

Anyone who has ever written themselves off as too old to try something new or make a change should take Blanco to heart.  He shows that with application and playing to your strengths, almost anything is possible.

3. Cheats never prosper

Keidar Keida and Kaka.

Any idea what I’m talking about?

Kaka is the Brazillian wunderkind who is steering his team through the knock-out stages.  Keider Keida is the Ivory Coast midfielder who conspired to have Kaka sent off from their game.

Kaka backed into Keida and bumped his upper chest gently with his elbow.  Keida hit the floor like he’d been hit by a volley of machine gun bullets clutching his face.  He preceded to writhe in agony.

The referee, not seeing the incident put two and two together and made 27. He brandished a red card and sent Kaka packing.

The catch?  In the 21st Century we have multiple TV cameras recording everything and replaying it in super slow motion.  The cheating was obvious and the world saw Keida’s deception in full.  Brazil went on to win the match comfortably and Keida’s reputation is in tatters.

In life, integrity is vital in every action.  Any attempt to cheat, deceive or generally be dishonest tends to get found out eventually.  Thanks to Kaka and Keida for reminding us of that.

4. Take nothing for granted

Espana – glorious European champions.  World number 1.  In more than 30 matches leading up to the World Cup, only defeated once.  Dripping with talent and playing expansive attacking and goal laden football.

Switzerland – dour, unheralded and no record of success.  27th best team in the world.  Patchy recent form.  No star players.

Spain were expected to wipe the floor with everyone they played and march to the final.  Switzerland are well known for poor performances at major tournaments.

Spain 0 – Switzerland 1

In life, nothing is certain and making assumptions can be dangerous.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

5. Practice is the way to master change

The roundest ball ever... who knew!

One of the stories of the World Cup is the Jabulani ball.  Years in development, this is the roundest (hard to believe I know) and most aerodynamic ball ever created.  So what?

Well in the first few matches, this extra slick ball kept flying like a leaping salmon up a waterfall.  The players ballooned passes, crosses and shots miles further than planned.

After years of training with and playing with balls that had more drag and were less round, this change put the players of their stroke.

The response – practice, practice, practice.  The teams all went away with the new ball and worked like mad to master it.

By the second round of games, everything looked pretty much back to normal.  Successful adjustments were made (except sadly by the England team).

The bottom line.  When you are trying to make a change, or faced by change the key is practice.  Building up the skills to develop and adapt is vital in life.  The players used their years of intense practice and experience, and a short burst of hard work to adapt to the new ball.

When you face new challenges, learn the sustainable skills needed to overcome them and succeed.

Over to You

What have you enjoyed about the World Cup?

What lessons have you learned?

Photo Credit: DundasFC (Flickr Creative Commons), Celso Flores (Flickr Creative Commons), Shine 2010 (Flickr Creative Commons)

Comments (9)

By Phil, June 18, 2010 10:21 am

Looking for something a bit different this weekend?  Need a break from the football?   Here are 5 inspiring ways to spice up your weekend…

(And if you want to make my weekend, please join the Less Ordinary Living mailing list to get all the latest juice)

1) Find inspiration – Sharing Life Skills Magazine

This is a brilliant concept – a collection of great writing by some of the best bloggers out there.  Covering personal development, health, psychology and success, it is a fabulous read – something to chew on and digest.  Put together by Jonathan Wells of Advanced Life Skills – this is a project I’m proud to be part of.  Take a read and see what happens!

2) The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun

Brilliant animation from the folks at Box of Crayons about how to enjoy life – Stop hiding who you really are, Stop following the Rules, Stop Taking  Yourself So Seriously.  Pick any of these and it’ll bring more fun into your weekend.

3) Get reading – 5 Great Books

Five brilliant books to get stuck into this weekend (the first 2 are compelling fiction, the last 3 will make your life better):

1. The Wind-up Bird Chronicle – Haruki Murakami – surreal, compelling mystery from Japan’s master storyteller

2. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon – a touching, funny and wise story about a boy with Asperger syndrome

3. Happiness – Mattieu Ricard – Wise and human overview of happiness by a buddhist monk

4. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey – a personal development classic – still compelling today

5. The Art of Possiblity – Rosamund and Benjamin Zander – funny and smart guide to practices that can make life and the world better

4) Learn to Mediate with Headspace

Relax this weekend...

A meditation site without the mumbo-jumbo or mysticism. These guys offer practical and clear guidance on how to start a meditation practice.  Highly recommended for anyone looking to reduce stress, find more peace in life and feel happier.  Try the Take 10 Program and let me know what happens.

5) Do Something Worthwhile with LeapAnywhere

A great way to have more fun and do more good?  Leap Anywhere is a great site which has a wide range of exciting opportunities to volunteer across the UK. Search their database for an event near you, get involved, have fun and maybe even make some new friends.

Enjoy the weekend,

Phil

Photo Credit: Pink Sherbert (Flickr Creative Commons)