Comments on: Friends – Will they Really be There for you?

By: Phil

Phil — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:07:39 +0000

Giulietta – thanks for the kudos. Wise words – to have friends you need to be a friend. That is so true. You must have read my mind – the next post is on laughter and taking life less seriously. Take care and chat soon.

Phil

By: Giulietta the Muse

Giulietta the Muse — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 17:37:45 +0000

Hey Phil,

To have friends you need to be a friend, to reach out to folks, often taking the first friendship step. I recently read that 1 out of 4 people have no one to confide in.

I’ve met lots of people through civics groups in my town, people who want to make a difference in their own backyards! We have a documentary series with discussions afterwards.

Key is to jump into life! I meet good folks on line too and have met some in person at live events.

Friends make the world go round. Without friends, who would I laugh with (one of my all time fav pursuits)?

Much thx Phil! You’ve always got something important to say on your blog.

Giulietta, always musing

By: Phil

Phil — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 14:04:20 +0000

Tracy – thank you so much for sharing a powerful perspective on friendship. I am sure that as well as having amazing friends, you have learned a huge amount about being a great friend through your experience. I love the concept of the boundaries of friendship – where do we draw the line with our time, treasure and generosity? You’ve got me thinking and that is great gift – thank you!

Phil

By: Tracy Todd

Tracy Todd — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 11:41:16 +0000

Since becoming paralyzed from the neck down almost 12 years ago, friendships have taken on a complete new meaning. The boundaries have been pushed way beyond what would normally be acceptable. But most importantly I learned that friendship is not about the physical acts that we can do for one another — it goes far deeper than that.

Thank you for an inspiring blog.

Tracy
Tracy Todd´s last blog ..A Letter from a Soldier

By: Phil

Phil — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:09:38 +0000

Patty – it is a huge topic and I can’t even scratch the surface in one post. I agree that the 21st century has created an increasing sense of isolation for many – which is ironic given the huge range of ways to communicate. There is no substitute for face to face interaction and shared experience in my opinion. I have built friendships with people I’ve met online – yet typically I try to meet them in person or on a video link as it makes the relationship feel real to me. As a solopreneur too, I know the value of friendship to avoid going stir crazy. I try to remember that you have to give as well as take in friendship and that helps to keep the gold shining.

By: Phil

Phil — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:06:07 +0000

Marc – good point. Is a Facebook friend a real friend? I think that the research about having 10 friends would suggest that these are “real” friends who you speak with and meet in person. I know i have 200+ friends on Facebook and many of them are people I’ve known over the course of my life. I can count on them if needed. Digital channels give me another mode of maintaining and building the foundation of a friendship and as such I think it supplements what is already there. Thanks for the thought provoking comment.

By: Patty - Why Not Start Now?

Patty - Why Not Start Now? — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 05:59:05 +0000

This is a huge topic for me, Phil, and I’m so glad you wrote about it. From a professional standpoint, I hear many stories from people who feel isolated, who either have trouble making friends or can’t get enough time with friends because everyone is so busy. And the irony is, much of the time they could spend with friends is actually taken up with social networking, which is easy but ends up leaving them feeling somewhat empty. Personally, I resonate with this line in your post: “many friends come from our time at school, college, or work.” When I finished my grad degree and started my business 10 years ago, I did indeed experience a shift in friendships. Not going to an office with other people each day does change things. I absolutely believe friends are vital to health and happiness, and moreover, give us the sense of belonging we humans so dearly need right now. I’m still figuring it all out for myself, but I often think of this line (although can’t remember who said it): “make new friends but keep the old; one is silver, the other gold.”
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Meaning Mondays: The Experiment Edition

By: Marc Winitz

Marc Winitz — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 02:46:56 +0000

Phil – this is an interesting read. In this day and age I am curious as to what you and your readers think of “digital friendships” as it relates to this post.

By: Phil

Phil — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 12:23:37 +0000

Bart –

Great observation. Friendships are like a garden and need tending to really flourish and grown. Within the garden we may have different plants that serve different roles.

Phil

By: Bart

Bart — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 11:29:18 +0000

For me, the last paragraphs of your post are crucial. In my experience, it is much harder to keep friends than to gain friends. With this I mean that investing in a friendship is so important, not just to keep it alive, but to give it meaning and intimacy. Spending quality time together is not the same as being together, it really is dedicating a considerable chunck of your time to that friendship. What you’re doing during that time is actually of lesser importance. Friendships can be so wonderful and they can be the building block of a happy life if you take the time to nourish them.

Great post, Phil. Keep ‘em coming!
Bart´s last blog ..Failure Is The Path To Success