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By Phil, July 21, 2010 5:00 pm

“The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” – Albert Einstein

Think.. positive!

How does the way you think about the world affect your happiness and success?

When I first read about the following experiment (from Feel the Fear and do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers) to explore the power of the mind, I thought it sounded like a joke, so I tried it with a friend.

Please feel free to try it yourself:

• Find a friend to work with
• Ask your friend to hold out their right arm horizontally to the ground and keep it as rigid as possible
• Now try to pull down their arm to their side
• Now reset the arm and ask your friend to repeat out loud 20 times “I am weak”
• Now try to pull down their arm again

I was amazed at how much easier it was to pull down the arm the second time.  To test this, we did experiments where I’d leave the room and my friend would choose to say “I am weak” or “I am strong”.

Sure enough, the effect on the arm was obvious each time.

This experiment shows that our thoughts certainly influence our outlook on the world and our ability to perform successfully.

In this case, it shows that our unconscious is pretty gullible.  It will believe anything it is told, regardless of how logical or truthful the statement.

Clearly we don’t get stronger or weaker in the 10 seconds it takes to repeat a phrase, however our mind and body act that way.

Knowing this made me realize that being aware of what is going on in our minds so important – it has so much influence over how we feel about life and how we approach things.

What is going on in your head?

I’ve written before about the voices we get in our head that tell us we can’t do something, that we’re not good enough, that we shouldn’t even bother trying.

Given the experiment, our unconscious mind seems to listen to and believe these messages.

I know that in the past for me, each time I let these gremlins go unchecked, my confidence, self-esteem and ability to successfully achieve goals seems to be diminished a little more.

Many proponents of positive thinking also claim that the opposite is true.  When we repeat positive messages and visualize our goals, our world is more likely to be filled with happiness and success.  Certainly I know that many top athletes and performers often use visualization and positive thinking to enhance their performance.

Change your thoughts – Change your world

“We have control over one thing in our lives – our thoughts” – Napoleon Hill

Being a sceptic, over the last two weeks I decided to put positive thinking to the test.  I was fascinated to see what impact if any it would have on the world between my ears and how I felt about life.

What did I do?

• I developed some positive affirmations (these are usually in the present tense) – “I am powerful”, “I am successful”, “I am focused and productive”, “I am physically strong” and the really important “Whatever happens, I can handle it”.
• Every morning for a few minutes before getting out of bed, I repeated these sayings
• Every day when walking or going for a run, I repeated the affirmations over and over again
• Every time I heard a negative thought or gremlin, I repeated the opposite mantra 20 times

I have to say I’ve been won over.  I’ve felt happier, more confident and seen life as an exciting experience.

Amazingly, I’ve felt more productive, energetic and seem to get more done.  I’ve rapidly advanced my new website project and even seen an uptick in new coaching clients.

It feels like I’m more in control of life and my gremlins don’t come up so much any more.

Sometimes I feel like a Pollyanna for repeating these mantras, but frankly as long as I feel the benefits I’m going to keep thinking positively.

Over to You

If you’re in a positive frame of mind, why not sign up for regular updates from Less Ordinary Living- the guide to an outstanding career and remarkable life.

• If you’re interested, try following the same positive thinking regime for a week and see how it works for you.
• What are your thoughts on positive thinking and affirmations?
• What techniques do you use to control your thoughts and emotions?

Photo credit: Jessica.Tam (Flickr Creative Commons)

Comments (18)

By Phil, July 7, 2010 2:56 pm

Has your head ever felt like a whirlpool?

My head is spinning..

So many ideas, deadlines, projects, priorities, people to see, things to do, good intentions, fun ideas, serious plans, visions, goals and challenges….

Last week I hit the overload point – my head was spinning.  I felt overwhelmed.

The last few months have been really busy building Less Ordinary Living; finding new partners, coaching my wonderful clients, keeping up with blogging, creating new products and service offerings. It’s been amazing and exciting, but exhausting.

I’ve also been trying to stay connected to my friends, take advantage of the amazing summer here in Britain, keep fit and healthy, learn new skills and train for an adventure race in September.

I always have personal development projects on the go too – learning to meditate, keeping promises to myself, taking up journalling.

Finally, last week I got some personal news that knocked the wind out of me.

Life started to feel far too complicated and I didn’t have the energy to cope with everything.

The Power of Simple

This week, I’ve cut back to simple.  KISS – Keep It Simple, Stupid…

I looked at what is most important for me right now:

• To be healthy
• To grow my closest relationships
• To get my new website finished

This week, I’ll only do what is needed to achieve this.  The rest is not important – it can wait.

The whirlpool in my head has stopped spinning.

The Power of Simple has changed everything.  I feel calmer, happier and back in control.

Over to You

• What are your three most important priorities?
• How do you keep your life simple?
• How do you cope when things get overwhelming?

Please leave a comment and share.  To get regular ideas on creating a remarkable lifestyle, click here to join our mailing list.

Photo credit : DOH4 (Flickr Creative Commons)

Comments (14)

By Phil, June 30, 2010 12:19 pm

Make work more fun

Whether you want be more successful, more productive or just happier at work, these 25 powerful suggestions will help put some sparkle into your day.  Click here to get regular ideas on career success from Less Ordinary Living.

1. Start something new – variety is the spice of life.  Start a new project and bring one of your ideas to life
2. Really listen to everyone you meet – it’s easy to get wrapped up in your own world at work.  Concentrate on listening properly to everyone you meet today.
3. Take someone for coffee – build a relationship at work by taking someone out for coffee (your boss, your peer, your team member, your client, your customer).  You might even make a new friend.
4. Take a real lunchbreak – get out of the office, take a walk, get some fresh air and re-energize yourself.   It’s called a lunch break for a reason.
5. Delegate something – learning to delegate will make you more effective and help others to develop.  Take something off your plate and give someone else a chance.
6. Read Dilbert – Scott Adam’s cartoon dog puts work into perspective.  Learn to beat the pointy-haired boss.
7. Re-evaluate your to-do list – take 15 minutes to prioritize.  Focus on what is most important rather than urgent and to those things first.
8. Do something that will make your workplace better– think ahead about what can make your job better and more enjoyable in the longer term.  Start making that happen today.
9. Say no – learning to say no to things that don’t fit with your goals and values can be tough – but it is invaluable.  Say no to something today.
10. Thank an unsung hero – every workplace has it’s share of silent champions who keep everything going.  Take a minute to say thank you and recognize their contribution.
11. Be brave – if something is not working well in your team, have the courage to raise the issue.  It will never get resolved unless someone takes the initiative.
12. Offer to help – is someone looking out of their depth.? Get involved and help them learn to be great.  One day you might be the one needing help.
13. Leave on time – set yourself some clear targets and if you hit them, give yourself permission to leave on time (or even early if you can) and go enjoy the rest of the day.  Because you’re worth it.
14. Create a power hour – a great way to be super productive – click here to find out how.
15. Cancel a pointless meeting – sometimes work cultures create an endless stream of pointless meetings that suck up time.  If you have one today, cancel it or excuse yourself.   Use the time for something constructive.
16. Change your attitude – how are you approaching work?  If you’re seeing it as a negative, feeling disengaged and not enjoying it, you’ve lost before you even begin.  Try changing your attitude for one day and see what happens.
17. Apologize – if you have a feud or some simmering resentment with a colleague, isn’t it time to bury the hatchet (not in their head).  Be the bigger person and find a way to apologize sincerely.
18. Learn a new skill – what skill would you love to develop?  Put together an action plan for how to do that.  Here’s a guide for how to ask your boss for training.
19. Start a tradition – what new ritual can you start to make your workplace better?  A tea-round?  Birthday cakes?  Happy hour on Friday?
20. Set your vision – purpose is so important to satisfaction at work.  Take 15 minutes to think about why you are work and what you’d like to get from your career.
21. Drink more water – most offices and workplaces are drier than the Sahara, so stay hydrated to keep sharp.
22. Listen to your biorhythms – plan your day to take advantage of your natural daily energy cycles – click here to find out more.
23. Give something back – find out if your company has a community involvement or volunteer program.  Get involved or if it doesn’t exist, start one.
24. Play to your strengths – we are at our best at work when we use our natural attributes.  Take the VIA strengths test here to find yours.
25. Write your CV – a great way to feel in control of your career and not feel stuck in a rut.  Dig out that dusty relic and give it a polish.  Writing your CV helps you to feel more confident about your experience and skills.

Over to you

• What things do you do to enjoy work more?
• How do you make the most of your working life?
• Which of these ideas did you try, and what happened?

Photo credit: RubensLP (From Flickr Creative Commons)

Comments (4)

By Phil, June 24, 2010 11:40 am

VuVuZela!!!

Disclaimer: I personally guarantee that this article will not waffle on about football (too much).  To get regular updates from Less Ordinary Living, click here to sing up.

Love it or loathe it, everyone has been talking about the World Cup.

The adventure of football on a new continent, the impact on South Africa and its people, the endless drone of the Vuvuzela, the excitement (if you’re that way inclined) of the games.

For me, I’ve been fascinated by the implications of this global melting pot for how to live life in the 21st Century, so here goes:

1) Teamwork trumps talent

The French national team imploded under the African sun. We had sulks, feuds, players going on strike, and even a player getting sent home for insurrection (top tip: don’t call your boss something unrepeatable in front of all your colleagues).

On paper, the French team is littered with some of the most skilled individuals around.  They should have easily qualified for the knock-out stages, yet they flopped in all their games.  Now they are on their way home to Paris – flying cattle class.

This group of 23 individuals ended up in rival factions, fighting each other and their manager.  On the pitch, they wouldn’t even pass the ball to each other.  The substitutes refused to sit on the bench and sulked off to stand behind the goal.  In short, zero teamwork, or desire to sacrifice for the greater good.

Le Flop Francais shows the importance of teamwork, being interdependent with others, collaborating and caring about those around you.  These elements combine to create something much greater than the sum of individual parts.

2. It’s not how old you are – It’s how good you are

Viva Blanco!

Cuauhtémoc Blanco – Mexican legend – 37 years old.  By football standards he should be in the great retirement home in the sky dribbling on about his glory days to anyone unlucky enough to get stuck with him.

This guy couldn’t beat any of Less Ordinary Living’s readers in a race to the post box and has a pretty ample beer belly.

Yet, Blanco has inspired the Mexicans to qualification with a series of cameo substitute appearances and even knocked in a vital penalty goal along the  way.

In a game obsessed with fitness and strength, Blanco uses his brain and acute positional sense to do his talking.  He refuses to believe that his time is up and is confounding his critics with his great performances.

Anyone who has ever written themselves off as too old to try something new or make a change should take Blanco to heart.  He shows that with application and playing to your strengths, almost anything is possible.

3. Cheats never prosper

Keidar Keida and Kaka.

Any idea what I’m talking about?

Kaka is the Brazillian wunderkind who is steering his team through the knock-out stages.  Keider Keida is the Ivory Coast midfielder who conspired to have Kaka sent off from their game.

Kaka backed into Keida and bumped his upper chest gently with his elbow.  Keida hit the floor like he’d been hit by a volley of machine gun bullets clutching his face.  He preceded to writhe in agony.

The referee, not seeing the incident put two and two together and made 27. He brandished a red card and sent Kaka packing.

The catch?  In the 21st Century we have multiple TV cameras recording everything and replaying it in super slow motion.  The cheating was obvious and the world saw Keida’s deception in full.  Brazil went on to win the match comfortably and Keida’s reputation is in tatters.

In life, integrity is vital in every action.  Any attempt to cheat, deceive or generally be dishonest tends to get found out eventually.  Thanks to Kaka and Keida for reminding us of that.

4. Take nothing for granted

Espana – glorious European champions.  World number 1.  In more than 30 matches leading up to the World Cup, only defeated once.  Dripping with talent and playing expansive attacking and goal laden football.

Switzerland – dour, unheralded and no record of success.  27th best team in the world.  Patchy recent form.  No star players.

Spain were expected to wipe the floor with everyone they played and march to the final.  Switzerland are well known for poor performances at major tournaments.

Spain 0 – Switzerland 1

In life, nothing is certain and making assumptions can be dangerous.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

5. Practice is the way to master change

The roundest ball ever... who knew!

One of the stories of the World Cup is the Jabulani ball.  Years in development, this is the roundest (hard to believe I know) and most aerodynamic ball ever created.  So what?

Well in the first few matches, this extra slick ball kept flying like a leaping salmon up a waterfall.  The players ballooned passes, crosses and shots miles further than planned.

After years of training with and playing with balls that had more drag and were less round, this change put the players of their stroke.

The response – practice, practice, practice.  The teams all went away with the new ball and worked like mad to master it.

By the second round of games, everything looked pretty much back to normal.  Successful adjustments were made (except sadly by the England team).

The bottom line.  When you are trying to make a change, or faced by change the key is practice.  Building up the skills to develop and adapt is vital in life.  The players used their years of intense practice and experience, and a short burst of hard work to adapt to the new ball.

When you face new challenges, learn the sustainable skills needed to overcome them and succeed.

Over to You

What have you enjoyed about the World Cup?

What lessons have you learned?

Photo Credit: DundasFC (Flickr Creative Commons), Celso Flores (Flickr Creative Commons), Shine 2010 (Flickr Creative Commons)

Comments (10)

By Phil, June 22, 2010 4:10 pm

Raising the bar

I sometimes think that we live life like a high-jump competition.

We take on new things and have a good go at clearing the bar.  Every time we succeed, we raise the bar a little higher.  Eventually we’ll raise the bar so high that we can’t clear it any more.

Then we feel gutted.  Beaten.  Defeated.

All those clearances we made before feel like wasted effort – in the end we were a big loser!  All our focus goes on the failure.

This approach relies on some rigid rules about how to be successful in life that are hard-wired into our brains.

The Rules

Rule 1 – Strive to be perfect

We must always push us to keep striving to be higher, faster, stronger.  We strive for perfection, to be better every time.

Rule 2 – Never, ever stop

Like the high-jumper, when we achieve our goals, we barely stop to celebrate.  We have to go and get focused for the next jump.  The next task.  The next hurdle to negotiate.

Rule 3 – Failure is not an option

When we fail, we feel crushed, fixate on our failure.  It feels like the end of the world.

How did this happen?

Evolve or die

I guess we have to thank our ancient ancestors for these rules.

Back then it was survival of the fittest – evolve or die.

You had to keep raising the bar – inventing a better spear, learning how to make fire, how to be a great hunter.

Stopping was not an option – life was urgent and primal.

Failure was the end of the world – literally

I’m still thankful that we have strong survival instincts. Yet in our modern world, I reckon it might be time to break these rules apart.

To live a remarkable, high quality life requires a more flexible approach to life than our primal ancestors took.  We need to break all the rules.

Breaking the rules

Stop pushing so hard

Striving to be perfect is such a heavy burden to carry.  We can always find someone richer, smarter, more charismatic to compare ourself against.

Perfection is just an imaginary concept to compete against – it lacks any kind of definition.  It’s like trying to find the end of the rainbow.

Instead of striving for perfection, how about aspiring to do the best you can?  Frankly you won’t always succeed, however hard you try.  Welcome to human!

If you try to do the best you can, enjoy each experience as much as possible and accept the outcome it is hard to ask for more.

Sometimes that means that you’ll lower the high jump bar rather than raising it, and be happier for it.

Give yourself a break

Never stopping is exhausting.

In the modern world, we have the luxury of being able to stop and reflect.  To smell the roses.  To day-dream, relax, look after ourselves and recharge our batteries.  We have the space to prepare for the next great challenge or project.

For most people life flows in peaks and troughs of energy and activity.  Your body and minds will tell you when it is time to go for it and when to slow down and take a break.  If you don’t listen you’ll be cruising for a break down.

So when you clear a jump, take a while to enjoy it.  Perhaps rather than resetting the bar, find a deck chair and take a nap.

Enjoy failure

“If you’re not failing 90% of the time, you’re not trying hard enough”.

The current world high-jump record is held by Javier Sotomayor of Cuba at 2m 45cm.  Check out his jump.

Sotomayor didn’t just wake up one morning, hop out of bed and successfully jump over 8ft.  Sotomayor’s record is the result of a lifetime of failure.

Javier has inevitably failed many more than he has ever succeeded.  All the hours of training involved failing to clear the bar thousands of times.  He has learned to reflect on and learn from his failures to figure out new approaches to clear the next height.

If he had taken his first failure at the age of 5 as an utter disaster and given up, his personal best would probably be about 40cm.

If you can learn to enjoy failure, to reflect on it, to see the good things that happened as part of the failure, two things happen.

First, life becomes a pleasure all the time, not just when you succeed.

Second, you’ll learn more quickly and find success more easily in the long run

Sometimes in the high jump you’ll fail.  If you can enjoy that failure and learn from it, you’ve succeeded in breaking the rules.

Over to you

• What rules do you follow in life?
• Where did they come from?
• What would happen if you broke all the rules?

Photo credit: Selective Focus Photography,  Lord Jim (Flickr Creative Commons)