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By Phil, October 21, 2009 4:44 pm

Reading Time: 2 minutes and 8 seconds

As I’ve turned my attention to Thinking Big for the next decade, I’ve encountered some interesting challenges.  Getting excited about the possibilities that lie ahead has seen me encounter some of my old friends – fear, anxiety and reality.  I’ve heard the little voices in my head popping up to try and persuade me “you can’t do that”, “don’t be ridiculous” or “that’s impossible”.  The fear of failure and the embarrassment that comes with it nearly stopped the Big Thinking in its tracks.  Luckily, I was drawn to the wise words of Rudyard Kipling in his poem, If.  Here are some key lessons:

1 If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too.

Kipling’s first lesson is to believe in yourself.  If you believe in your ability and your vision wholeheartedly, you’ll increase your chances of success.  It will help you to remain focused in your actions and to deal with the skepticism of others.  Starting with the mindset that everything is possible is a very powerful assumption for Thinking Big.  Kipling adds that it is understandable that others might doubt you, and not to dismiss them for that – however it is vital to trust yourself.   Building up our self-belief by taking action helps to lower our fear of failure.

2. If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, And treat those two impostors just the same;

Kipling’s famous line rings true for Thinking Big.  The path to realizing your goals may not always be smooth.  We all face kinks in the road, and days when everything seems to go wrong.  Kipling advises remaining calm and focused at these times.  The genius of this advice is to take the same approach when amazing triumphs occur.  Getting off the emotional rollercoaster ride is a key to staying focused and that helps us to achieve our goals.  We can only control our actions, not the results of how we act and this maxim reminds of us this.  If we give 100% and accept the results, fear of failure can start to fade away.

3. If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,?’ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch;

Kipling reminds us to stay humble regardless of our trajectory and surroundings.  Thinking Big may lead to huge changes in our life as the journey progresses.  Kipling suggests staying true to ourselves and being authentic in our relationships to others.  His advice is not to keep our virtue and humility intact as we progress on life’s journey.  This reminder has helped me to manage my anxiety over Thinking Big.

4. If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;

Kipling hits on one of the keys to Thinking Big – the ability to dream without letting the dream take over.  A dream or vision can provide huge motivation and focus, yet life has a sense of humour and the unexpected is never far away.  A fixed dream can become a rod for our backs, or even worse blind us to the possibilities in a situation.  Kipling teaches us that we have to be focused, yet flexible in our approach to life.

5. Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

Kipling reminds us again that if we follow our dreams and retain our composure, then anything and everything is possible.  Thinking Big isn’t easy but If we can stay focused, act with humility, believe in ourselves and manage our expectations then amazing success is possible.

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By Phil, October 7, 2009 7:58 am

Reading time: 1 minute 38 seconds

The start of the Season of Thinking Big caused quite a stir.  Thanks to all of you who wrote to me, sharing your commitments.  Many of you reflected on how much had happened in the last 10 years of your life and shared exciting visions of where the next decade might take you.  For me, Thinking Big has been really exciting and I’ve started to imagine the impact I could make if I really went for it.

As I sit here on a rainy Wednesday morning in London, I’m developing a vision of a global community committed to making the most of life. Connecting inspiring people like you and sharing ideas about how to improve both individual lives and the wider problems of our societies is really firing me up.  I’m going to continue developing this concept over the next few weeks, however the obvious realisation for me is that once we have started thinking big, we need to start acting big too.  I’m itching to get started.

So what is acting big?  Acting big is putting your money where your mouth is and starting to take the first steps to make the vision a reality.  Every great journey starts with a single step and this is no exception.  Acting big can be about being bold, daring and trying new things on the edge of your comfort zone.  Acting Big can also be about making smaller changes in your life to support the achievement of your goals.  So I’m laying out my first commitments to start acting big:

Acting Big!

1)   Start taking care of myself: I’ll be relying on my mind and body to provide the energy needed to make this journey happen.  Taking care of mind and body is essential to acting big.  I’m committing to running 3 times a week, being careful with my diet to avoid too much cholesterol and a daily 10 minute meditation.   I know that these changes will boost me towards my goals.

2)   Focus on Less Ordinary Living: I love writing this blog.  I am committing to using this blog as a vehicle to inspire others to live life to the full.  My first goal is to get 1,000 subscribers to Less Ordinary Living.  I’m going to work hard to attract readers, and ask you to help me do this.  If you enjoyed this article, please take a minute to subscribe (using the envelope button on the side).  I also ask you to act big and share this blog with five people you think might enjoy it.  You can help me start acting big today.

3)   Start spreading joy: My third commitment is to bring a positive attitude to every person I meet.  It’s all too easy for me to live life in a bubble and ignore others.  It won’t always be easy, but I will try my best to bring joy and positivity to everyone I meet.  I’d love a world where everyone did this, so I’m going to strive to set a good example.

As you can see, Acting Big doesn’t always involve making a grand gesture or turning your whole life upside down.  No need for me to base jump off Canary Wharf with a Less Ordinary Living flag (although now I come to think of it….).  It can be as simple as bringing a smile and a good attitude when you meet people.

As you continue to Think Big, start Acting big too.  What are the changes that will get you started in the right direction?  What can you do differently this week, what can you learn, or practice that will get you taking action?  If you make one commitment to act big per week and give it your absolute best effort, you’ll find yourself accelerating toward your big thinking goals before 2009 is over.  So what are you committing to this week? – share it with the world by making a comment.

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By Phil, September 30, 2009 4:18 pm

The Season of Thinking Big

Reading time: 1 minute and 14 seconds

As September slides over the horizon, there are only three months remaining in the decade.  It all started with a bang and fireworks at the Millennium and the time has simply flown by.  The last ten years have seen huge changes in my own life – qualifying as an accountant, getting married, moving to San Francisco for 5 years, finding a new career as a coach, starting my own practice.  It’s only when we stop for a minute that we can appreciate how much has happened and how much we’ve grown.

The new decade is around the corner and it brings a sense of promise and excitement.  This is the ideal time to start thinking big!  I’ve started to think about my potential for the next 10 years.  There are so many possibilities; starting a family, growing a great business, developing my skills and experience as a coach, seeing more of the world.  I’m going to think really big about what can be achieved and start with the premise that everything is possible.  Once the challenge and the vision are set for the next ten years, there’ll be no choice for me but to go for it.

The next three months are a great opportunity for you to take stock of where you are in your life.   Take the time to review the last 10 years and celebrate your greatest achievements, relive your biggest challenges and think about what you have learned.  You might be surprised about how much you’ve achieved personally and professionally.

This is also a chance to think big about your future.  Take some time to answer the following questions.  Most importantly answer them without limiting yourself about what is possible – give yourself a fair chance to be amazing.  Don’t curb your ambitions or put a limit on your dreams.

• What is your vision for life in ten years time (if you think big)?
• What would you like to have achieved personally and professionally (if you think bigger)?
• What are the three amazing things that you would like to accomplish over the next decade (if you think really big)?

Answering these questions should make you feel excited and a little daunted about the challenges that lie ahead.  If you feel comfortable, why not share your commitments by making a comment  on this posting.  Sharing your vision with the Less Ordinary Community is the first step to achieving it.

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By Carly, September 3, 2009 3:21 pm

Yesterday, we discussed wallowing and explored its benefits.  I shared how as a coach, I could get behind encouraging wallowing as a tool to gain insight and help you move forward.  Today, I thought we’d to continue exploring by getting deeper into a real life example and sharing some practical ways for you to make the most of your wallowing.

Laura’s Story

Laura is a bright, energetic, driven corporate leader who’s worked her way up the ladder.  She has invested 16 years into her career and is recognized as a subject matter expertise in her field.  But something is missing and she’s burnt out.  We began our work together by exploring a career path that would put her skills to use in a consulting capacity.  It seemed like the logical thing to do and she was taking every step she was supposed to in order to generate leads and opportunities.  In our last meeting however, she was still feeling stressed out and uneasy.  So we took the opportunity to explore how she was feeling and get behind what they might be revealing to her.  We explored what felt off, what felt right.  We explored when in her work she felt stressed and when she felt strong and confident.  Something began to shift in Laura.  The tension began to break and you could see her sinking into her emotions.  Over the following two weeks, Laura took time to wallow in those feelings and continue to look for the messages they might be sending her about her next career step.  When I spoke with her yesterday, she was bubbling over with energy.  Her deep reflection revealed a potential career path that she had never considered.  She couldn’t believe she had previously overlooked it as an option.  Her wallowing allowed her to confront and release her built up emotions.  And when she paid attention to the root of her emotions, she was able to see a world of possibilities opening up before her.

The next time you feel a period of wallowing coming on, make the most of it. Pull out your journal and begin to capture all the feelings you’re having.  Take a deep breath and truly allow yourself to experience your emotions.  And ask yourself some reflective questions* about your emotions:

Fear – What is the threat?  Is it real or perceived?  What must I do to move into a position of safety?

Vulnerability – What belief, behavior or perception is being challenged? How might my life change if I accept and adapt to this new insight?

Anger – What must be protected?  What boundary must be restored?

Frustration – What is the block?  What can I do differently?  Who can I ask for ideas or assistance?

Sadness (when you know loss is coming) – What must be released?  What must be rejuvenated?

Grief (when you have no choice about the loss) – What must be mourned?

*Questions are adapted from The Emotional Life of Horses by Linda Kohanov. Copyright 2005 by Epona Equestrian Services. http://www.taoofequus.com/linda_kohanov.html

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By Carly, September 2, 2009 2:21 pm

In response to a recent posting about Terri’s 4-month journey to find a more meaningful role before being deported, one of our readers, Ellen, shared that rather than feeling motivated by Terri’s success, she somehow felt bad about it – like she couldn’t relate to this seemingly idyllic, inspirational tale.  What about when we hit roadblocks, she wondered, or when we lack clarity and we’re overwhelmed by our emotions?

In her last line, Ellen somewhat sheepishly asked for permission to wallow in her emotions and it got me thinking. Why can’t we wallow, I wondered?  Are there only downsides or can there be actual benefits to wallowing?  And as a coach, could I encourage it as part of the career change process?  What I discovered was overwhelming and unexpected. Yes! I can definitely get behind wallowing…to a point and with a purpose.

After much thought and reflection on my own career journey and the journey of the hundreds of clients I have worked with, few if any, were without setbacks and periods of sadness, frustration, anger and doubt.  Yet it seems that for many of us, we’re afraid to sit too long with our feelings and emotions.  We’ve come to see wallowing defined as self-pity, being self-absorbed and stagnating.

Well the way I’m looking at wallowing is somewhat different.  Let me explain my line of thought.

wallow [wol-oh] –verb (used without object)

When reading the definition, you can see that wallowing implies being in the moment, allowing yourself the time and space to really take it all in, the good and bad.  And from this perspective, I think wallowing in your emotions can be beneficial.  In our career transitions, as in many other aspects of our work and life, we are very rarely encouraged to slow down and breathe; to regroup and reassess.  As I see it, that’s what wallowing is all about.  Wallowing allows you the opportunity to deeply feel your emotions and listen to the messages they are sending.

This quiet time allows you to really be with your emotions. If we take the time to really let our emotions in, we take a critical step towards being able to release them and move forward with greater ease.  Additionally, we can learn powerful things from the messages they are sending us. Just don’t let yourself get stuck in the emotional mud.

So Ellen, permission is granted!  We all need to do a bit of wallowing in order to be successful.  Roll around in your feelings, revel in them.  Learn all you can from them and use the insight to move you into inspired action.

Stay tuned for tomorrow when we’ll look at some ways to make the most of your wallowing.